Bless Their Hearts

From Bourbon & Boots

I read a funny post about regional differences on Kelly's Korner this morning and immediately thought of many times I've had to explain something or have realized that I wasn't in the south anymore.

One of the most interesting things I've had to explain is deer camp.  I'm originally from Arkansas and my dad's side of the family are all hunters, primarily deer.  Deer hunting is very common and popular here and it's often a family affair.  I should note deer camp also turned me into a vegetarian for 13 years but that's another story.

I was staffed on a project in Detroit (and the only southerner on my team) and was sharing a story about going to deer camp.  One of my colleagues from Toronto had a very strange look on her face.  "What do you do with the deer at deer camp?"  My turn for the strange look.  "Not sure I'm following your question."

She thought my family camped with deer and I guess assumed there was field frolicking and other deer games involved.  She was horrified when I explained what deer camp is.  Of course she had also never seen a cow "in real life" so we were coming from very different backgrounds.

A few other things that came to mind:

Buggy - I've now learned that most people call it a shopping cart but I grew up calling it a buggy.  I've heard other (but not all) southerners call it a buggy so I assume this is some sort of regional thing.

Chocolate gravy - It is a tragedy that more people are not familiar with chocolate gravy.  I guess this is also a southern thing but it is likely what angels serve for breakfast in Heaven.

Grill out - I don't say this but my husband does.  I have no idea if this is an Arizona thing but when we were first married he would say things like "We should grill out for dinner tonight."  Anyone from Arizona??  Does anyone else say this?  I think it's weird to not just say grill.  Theoretically you could grill IN your house but your insurance company would not appreciate that.

Y'all - Probably one of the best known regional differences.  I've worked in Philadelphia where they say something along the lines of you-uns (I have no idea if this is how it's spelled but that's what it sounds like).  I love y'all.  It makes me happy and I will never stop saying it.  No matter how many times people comment about it.

Wearing color - I interned for my congressman during college and all of the east coast people had a field day commenting on my clothes.  I had no idea prior to this that people up north essentially live life in varying shades of black/grey.  It was very depressing to me and I felt like Capitol Hill benefited from pops of color the southerners wore.  Of course I later moved to DC and have a ton of black and grey in my wardrobe now but that's primarily because I weigh 30 pounds more and it's slimming.

Sundae - My dad pronounces this as sun-duh as opposed to sun-day.  Pulling up to the Tastee Freeze drivethrough and I'd hear "Yes, ma'am, I'd like to order a chocolate sun-duh."  I haven't heard a lot of people say this but I've always loved that Dad says it this way.  Except when I was a teenager.  It was embarrassing then.

I'm sure I'll think of more but those were a few things that came to mind.  If you want to read a hilarious collection of southern/country sayings and stories, run on out to Barnes & Noble and buy this book:

What are some differences you've had to explain?

On Santa

artwork by the talented Mary Engelbreit

With Christmas season in full swing, there are lots of Santa photos, Elf on the Shelf shenanigans and other fun revelry  making the rounds.  I love this time of year.  It’s my favorite holiday and I’m always sad when December 26 rolls around that it’s over ‘til next year.

Know what I don’t love, though?  The bickering about traditions.  People warning about the psychological damage your child will have if you tell them Santa is real.  Other people harping that you’re no fun because your kids don’t believe Santa is real.

The truth is…your kids may or may not be alright but it won’t be because of Santa.  Or Elf on the Shelf.  Or any other number of fairly innocuous and meaningless distractions.

I’ve been asked if I believed in Santa as a child.  I don’t ever remember believing in Santa as an actual person who made lists, checked them twice and decided whether I was naughty or nice.  At the same time, I put out cookies, milk and a carrot every year for Santa and Rudolph.  I knew my Dad actually ate them even though I never saw my Dad eat or drink any of “Santa’s” treats.  Somehow, I just knew.

I wasn’t worried about whether Santa thought I was nice or not because I knew the biggest factor in what I got for Christmas was our finances. I was also much more worried about what my parents would do to me if I was naughty and not nice so Santa wasn't much of a threat.

When Brett and I had kids, I didn’t give the whole Santa situation much thought.  I thought we’d see Santa at the mall, take pictures, enjoy the CBS Christmas shows and call it a year.  Brett was adamant that we have Santa in the more traditional sense.

Fine.

So “Santa” brought gifts, we put out reindeer food (thanks, Christin!), left cookies and milk and went on about our business.  We’ve been, at best, a lukewarm Santa family with Dad doing most of the Santa talk while Mom politely nods and smiles.

Last year Madeleine asked me if I would tell her the truth if she asked me something.  Seeing this as an awesome opportunity to let her know that she can and should absolutely ask me anything and know she’ll get the truth, I quickly gave an emphatic YES.

She asked if the tooth fairy was real.  “Do you really want to know?”  Yep, she did.  So I told her the truth.  She asked if she could still have the money.  This kid knows what really matters to her.

About 15 minutes later, she said she didn’t really think Santa was real and would I be honest.  Again, I asked if she really wanted to know.  Yep.  So I told her the truth and talked about St. Nicholas and the fun of make believe and traditions.  Of course I followed it up with “Don’t say anything to any other kids! No need to ruin their fun.”

I was frankly relieved.  I’m not opposed to Santa but it never felt natural or all that fun to me.

As an avid reader, I think there are all sorts of beautiful and magical ideas and thoughts that are fun to think about even if you know they aren’t real.  Madeleine loves fairy books. Yet she knows they aren’t real.  The fact that she knows they aren’t real doesn’t seem to in any way diminish her enjoyment as she reads about their fairy adventures, boats made of leaves and pixie dust that helps them fly.

We still love watching Santa movies.  We’ll probably put out milk and cookies (in our house, Mom does the eating though) and will still creep outside in our jammies to spread reindeer food in the yard.  And we’ll love every minute of it.

Reflections on D-Day

D-Day photo found here

Today marks the 70^th anniversary of D-Day. 

I’ve been reading article after article about the infamous invasion at Normandy.  Looking through thousands of photos. Trying to wrap my head around the mind blowing planning that went into this.

War isn’t something I normally write about because, well, it’s heart breaking.  Something really stood out to me today, though, as I was reflecting on this anniversary.

The number of people with all variety of skills and abilities that came together to accomplish this is staggering.

There’s a new book out called The Forecast for D-Day which is about the criticality of the weather forecast used to determine on which day D-Day would happen.  It was originally scheduled for June 5.

I had never thought about meteorology and war but it was a critical decision factor.

As I scrolled through photo after photo, I saw fitters and mechanics repairing tanks and Jeeps.  Paratroopers preparing to jump in the black of night.  Bagpipers playing to motivate and signal their fellow troops.  Supply personnel forecasting the amount of soap needed by troops (3,489 long tons of soap would be required for the first four months in France in case you were wondering).  Even an entrepreneur from Louisiana who had originally created the shallow-draft boat used in Normandy to rescue flood victims in the US south.

What is absolutely clear to me is that every single one of those people was important.  Every one of them had something to offer and all of it was needed for success.

The same is true for each of us.  Whatever it is that you do and are in this life, you are important and you are valuable.  You never know when the skill or ability that you think isn’t a big deal will be critical to someone else.

Society tends to view certain roles and jobs as more important or more prestigious.  But really?  Anything done with honor, diligence and courage is a job well done.

Toto, where are you?

Our not very spring-like Spring Break was last week.  This is only our second year with a child in school so I feel pretty out of the loop on these break vacations.  We didn't take vacations over spring break when I was growing up so I felt some pressure when the other parents and kids were talking about their vacation plans in kindergarten last year.

Mom needed to step it up.  Mom also needs a break.

So we compromised.  We decided to make a quick trip to Kansas City.  It's a three hour drive for us (three and a half with stops) and it meant we could scratch off another state, Kansas, from our scratch off map of the United States.  Win-win for everyone involved.

This is probably obvious from the pictures in previous blog posts but...I am not a photographer.  I love photography and would like to be better but the truth is that there are a hundred or more things I would rather spend time learning to do.  What that means is that you have the pleasure of seeing some very mediocre photos from our family vacation that do not fairly represent the places or the fun we had on our trip.

I normally run a very tight ship of leaving super early in the morning but we left at a lazy 8:30 this time around.  We all had breakfast, packed snacks for the trip, played with the dogs and hit the road.  Since our hotel wouldn't be ready until later in the afternoon, we drove straight to Fritz's Railroad Restaurant.  Our kids absolutely loved this place.

You place your order using a telephone at the table and a train delivers your food in a large plastic box.  It's built in entertainment so Brett and I were actually able to have a full conversation while the kids watched the trains whizzing by, wondering out loud where each of them would stop.

After Fritz's, we walked around the Crown Center for a little while to get the lay of the land.  I really don't know how to describe it because it's not exactly a mall (someone said many years ago it isn't a real mall if there isn't a Gap or Banana Republic and they have neither) but it kind of is a mall.  Regardless, it was a good place to pleasantly waste a couple of hours.

We headed to the hotel to check in.  Quick plug here for which I can assure you that I am not paid because no one knows this blog exists except you...Embassy Suites are a fantastic hotel chain for families with small children.  My other mommy friends who are nicer and more patient do not seem to mind sharing one room with their entire family for days at a time but I do.

We really enjoyed having a small living room with a sink and refrigerator in addition to the separate bedroom and bathroom.  The biggest plus?  You can put the kids to bed and go to the other room to watch a little TV or just chat.  We traveled with friends so it was also really nice because we could visit without that awkward stance where people don't want to sit on your bed and you wish you had put away your dirty clothes.  Anyway, it was a convenient and family friendly place to stay and the morning breakfast buffet was awesome.

That night we ventured to the Kansas side of Kansas City and dined at the T-Rex Cafe.  This was another ridiculously successful dining experience with the kiddos.  I am an only child and do not like being in large crowds or noisy areas.  The one downside here was that the entire place is sensory overload...exploding volcanoes, projector lights, roaring dinosaurs.  Would not recommend for children with any type of sensitivity to light or noise.  Wednesday is apparently family night where kids eat for $2.99 - cha-ching!  After dinner, the kids dug in the paleo area for over an hour and were sad when we told them we were leaving.

Our big activity day was the following day.  We probably overdid it but it was a short trip so we really tried to make the most of it.

We started with a huge breakfast at the hotel and then went to the LEGO Discovery Center.  When we drove by, I saw a massive line and immediately started dreading it.  Thankfully, it was a school visit so we were very quickly whisked inside to get our tickets.  Everyone agreed that the LEGO adventure was the best part of the trip which is ironic because I hadn't planned to go.

It is KANSAS City so they had a very large miniatures display of the Wizard of Oz.  The lights went off and on in the room so it was hard to get very good pictures but these are two of the Emerald City.  The upper photo is when the room lights went out and the miniature building lights turned on.  The lower photo shows the detail of the actual characters and the yellow brick road.  They also had miniatures of the Kansas City skyline and famous KC landmarks.

They aren't just for kids, y'all.

Madeleine posing with LEGO girl.  I have no idea how long it takes to make these creations but I know I would not have the patience to do it.

Side note but I started taking piano lessons again last year.  I absolutely adore my teacher but the scales are freaking killing me.  I saw this in the Master Builder's office and honest to goodness the first thing that popped into my mind is, wow, that's me still trying to master the scales with Courtney standing over me to make sure my fingering is correct!

We had a not great lunch after LEGO and then headed over to Union Station.  It's a beautiful Beaux-Arts railway station and if I'm not mistaken, the second largest in the country.  Here's a photo of the gorgeous ceiling.

We visited Science City in Union Station but were exhausted so I didn't take many photos from our excursion.  It was fun but not one of my favorite things we did while there.

After naps for everyone but Dad, we drove to Waldo Pizza which I cannot stop thinking about.  It's a local pizza place but they have a TWO page gluten free menu.  I had breadsticks for the first time in three years and they were awesome.  I teared up...not even kidding. They had gluten free pizzas and gluten free sandwiches.  I decided I couldn't decide so ended up with the pizza sandwich which is really an open face sandwich with pizza toppings.  Cannot tell you how thrilled I would be if Waldo Pizza decided to open in northwest Arkansas!  No photos because I was too busy eating but look them up and definitely go if you're in Kansas City.

The kids swam in the indoor pool before bed while I packed everything to leave for home the next day.  Fair trade for B to watch the munchkins while I packed, right?

After another hearty breakfast, we headed south.  We took a very short detour (~2 miles off the interstate) to visit the birthplace of President Harry Truman.  It was...modest.  The kids were contentedly watching a movie so was paused the movie, took a photo, pointed out the outhouse and well house and drove on.

Sorry for the long post but hopefully you have some ideas for a family trip to Kansas City!

Kitchen Sink Rice Cakes

Last night I made butter chicken with rice and roasted asparagus and cauliflower (definitely making again!).  I made too much rice so we had quite a bit leftover.

Our beautiful weather turned to rain then hail then snow.  A warm and comforting lunch was just what was needed.

These are not the most inventive meal but they were delicious and everyone had seconds!  They are very versatile so you can pretty much use whatever you have leftover as the extra fillers.  I had half a grilled chicken breast and an onion so those both went in.

I am not a food photographer or really any kind of a photographer.  Don't judge.

Kitchen Sink Rice Cakes

2 cups leftover rice

1/3 - 1/2 cup parmesan cheese (what I had on hand)

2 eggs

1 teaspoon minced garlic

Minced onion (I had half a white onion)

Diced chicken breast (what I had on hand)

1 T parsley (seemed like a good pairing for the chicken and parm)

Olive oil for pan frying

Mix together everything but olive oil and refrigerate for about an hour.  Form into patties and place in oiled pan with medium high heat.  Pan fry a few minutes on each side until browned.  

We ate ours with leftover butter chicken on top but I've also made them with veggies on the side.  Because we are culinary delinquents, we also like to eat them with ketchup.

Some other ideas...ham and cheddar with basil or bacon with cheddar and chives.  You could also go with no meat and add green peas or leftover veggies (broccoli would be awesome).

Enjoy!

Sunflowers Make Me Smile

A few months ago I bought an embarrassing number of Williams-Sonoma Gluten Free Cupcake mixes.  They are normally $16 and were on sale for $2.  And doesn't everyone need 10 cupcake mixes?

Even I was getting bored of cupcakes so I decided to make a one layer cake instead.  Max was napping and I came across a photo of a sunflower cake on Pinterest.  Quick trip to the Dollar Store for Peeps and chocolate chips and Madeleine and I were ready for our Saturday project.

This was incredibly easy and Madeleine absolutely loved putting all of the "seeds" on the cake.  Sunflowers always make us happy!

Spring Forward

Last weekend was daylight savings time. I'm not a fan of the time change but the extra daylight in the evening is welcome anytime!

Today it is around 60 degrees F, blue skies and lots of sun.  You know, pretty much heaven on earth minus the pollen.  Last week, however, we missed Monday and Tuesday due to snow and ice.  The joke here is that if you don't like the weather, wait a day.

Anyway, around the time of all this ice nonsense, I decided I really wanted a new wreath for the door that said SPRING!  Wreaths are such an easy and fun way to make an impactful welcome to your home.  I find wonderful ideas on Pinterest all the time but as a working mom, I have to be very selective about what projects I undertake so I'm not cutting into my family time when not working.  I also don't like clutter so I'm not a great crafter.  :-/

Here's a time saver tip...have your custom wreath made at Hobby Lobby!  You pick out the materials and design and labor is a percentage of the materials cost.  If you find half priced ribbon or other items, the labor is based on the sale price(s).

For this wreath, I chose an inexpensive grapevine wreath ($4.99), one roll of chevron burlap ribbon (I think it was around $8?) and a wooden letter for the monogram ($1.99).  The wonderful ladies in the wreath section found a matching paint to the color on the ribbon and did the polka dots.  I thought the white would be too stark of a contrast.  The grand total was just under $20 and I love it!

We are (read: Aimee is) huge tulip lovers.  We planted (read: Brett and kids planted) approximately 200 bulbs last fall.  Here's a photo of some of the tulips and blue hyacinths beginning to push up!  We can't wait to see them fully bloomed.

Hard Lessons

When Madeleine was little I came across a saying that motherhood is living with your heart outside of your body.  At the time I loved that idea…my heart was so happy and so full and was toddling around our living room cute as a bug.

First grade has been a challenging year.  She is doing great academically, has a nice teacher and goes to a good school.  The challenge is that we’re living the adage that kids can be really mean to each other.

My kid is not perfect.  She will never be perfect.  This isn’t about perfect kids.  It’s about being kind.

It’s about hurting hearts.  Trying to explain to your six year old why someone who was her friend yesterday doesn’t want to be her friend today.  Attempting to not let your anger show when she comes home yet again saying that her ‘friends’ didn’t want to play with her at recess.

Now I see the not-so-fuzzy side to living with your heart outside of your body.  The side where your fragile heart is hurt and trembling, walking slowly through the door, home from another tough day.

Brett has a very manly view of all of this.  “It’s just the beginning.”

Because that helps.  Not.

I’m not a helicopter parent.  Independence is a great life lesson and life is an effective teacher.  Some lessons just seem awfully early for this stage of childhood.

The Gift

Source

When I was growing up, I would actively look for my Christmas presents in the months leading up to the actual day.  I got brazen as I got older and would instead carefully unwrap presents and rewrap them.  (side note: the technique was so good that I would have to charge money to share it with you)  This was about as rebellious as I got but I did it just about every year until I left home.

Part of it was probably boredom, part of it the challenge.  I think the biggest reason, though, is that I absolutely detest surprises, particularly surprises you know are coming.  I want to know what is going to happen and to prepare for it.

This weekend my beloved Sophie girl had a neurological event of some sort, most likely a seizure.  Brett and I adopted Sophie the month after we were married and she’s been my best girl ever since.  Brett traveled full time for the first five years we were married so it was always me and Sophie.  Even after we had children, Sophie has been my first baby.  Her age has started showing in the last year and a half with several health issues but I still hoped she would be a fifteen to eighteen year companion.

Yesterday we received a heartbreaking diagnosis of congestive heart failure at the after-hours veterinary clinic.  It wasn’t delivered in a particularly gentle way and my heart was simply not ready to hear it.

After the vet left the final time, the nurse came in, took one look at my face and said she was so very sorry.  I asked her if she had any advice.  She asked if I believe in God and I replied, yes, I do believe in God.  She suggested that I pray and that I look at every day with Sophie as a gift because that’s what it is.

It’s a sentiment most of us hear frequently.  Every day is a gift.  Never take a day for granted.  It isn’t something I am particularly good at doing but it isn’t because I’m ungrateful.  It’s because I’m constantly looking to tomorrow and the day after that.  I’m trying to carefully unwrap my future and rewrap it instead of enjoying and appreciating what I have and where I am today.

Instead of feeling profound joy that I walked out of the clinic with Sophie in tow yesterday, my mind was thinking about 6 months from now when we may have to make a decision to provide her a peaceful transition out of this life.  I’m finding it is next to impossible to enjoy my time with her when I’m constantly wondering when our last day will be or how I will handle the day when she isn’t laying by my feet while I work.

There are volumes of Scriptures about worry and anxiety.  I think it’s because people haven’t changed that much through the centuries…God knows that so many people struggle with this very thing.  I would love to hear your thoughts on living in the present and leave you with some of my favorite Scriptures.

“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”  ~John 14:27

“Cast your burden on the Lord,
And He shall sustain you;
He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.”  ~Psalm 55:22

Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression,
But a good word makes it glad.”  ~ Proverbs 12:25

 “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.  Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”   ~ Matthew 6:34

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”  ~Philippians 4:6-7

“… casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”  I Peter 5:7

Friends don't let friends use Orange Glo

One of the first things I noticed about our current house were the wood floors.  They were gorgeous.

I loved them.

We hired a housecleaner shortly after we moved who used Orange Glo.  The floors looked amazing.  So much so that people commented frequently about how shiny they were and asked what we used.

Fast forward two years and they went from stunning to awful.  There were scratches everywhere and they were dull.  The cost of having them replaced after such a short time made me ill.

Around this same time, we let go of our house cleaners of 2 1/2 years (story for another day) and had hired someone new who asked to use a different cleaner.  Brett happened to be home when they were cleaning in early January and they told him we needed to stop waxing the floors and they would need to "clean" them a little at a time to get all of the wax buildup off of the floors.

To say I was angry would be an understatement.

"We've never USED  wax on the floors, Brett!  How is it possible to have wax build up when we've never waxed them?"  I promptly dismissed the idea as preposterous and seethed at the spot they had "cleaned" because it looked one hundred times worse than any of the other areas.  It was bubbled with white film and I was convinced they had ruined our already awful floors.  Brett used his fingernail to show how it (what was it?!?) was flaking off the floor.

I googled Orange Glo, hardwood and film and found site after site of people outraged that Orange Glo had ruined their floors.  God bless the person who posted that what finally worked on their floors was Windex and a credit card.  We did a slight variation of really hot water with straight ammonia (wear a mask) and the dull side of cheese knives.  Each plank had to be done in sections.  By hand.  I kid you not.

Here is the process we used to fix our floors. Not that I'm bitter but it took us FIVE days and we still have a section that needs to be done. 

Tell your friends.  They'll thank you.

Before

Sprayed with Windex (we later moved to straight ammonia and hot water)

Scraping - this is all the residue that was coming off of the floors

After (but before being fully cleaned)

Staying

Image Source

Today was supposed to be a school holiday in celebration of MLK Jr but due to the significant snow we've had this winter, the kids had it as a makeup day.  I'm really glad they did because Madeleine's teacher did a wonderful talking about Martin Luther King Jr - his life and what he accomplished.

Madeleine was sharing what she had learned over dinner and I was reminded how much more six year olds understand than we know.  She focused on a lot of things I'd never really thought much about.  Specifically she said that he could have moved somewhere else where there were more black people or where black people were treated better but instead he stayed to help other people.

How very tempting it is to leave a difficult situation rather than stay.  That's not always the answer of course but we're a better society because he chose to stay when he could have left.  I said a quick prayer that I would stay the course and be courageous wherever God calls me and that our kids would do the same.

One other thing Madeleine shared that made my heart absolutely swell...she looked at me with wide eyes and said, "I wouldn't have been able to play with K!"  They have been friends since Kindergarten and I saw in her 6 year old heart the realization that children were separated for no other reason than the color of their skin and what the personal impact would have been to her and her friend.

Max's 3 year old response, "That's so MEAN!" :-)

True words...all of them.