Part of it
was probably boredom, part of it the challenge.
I think the biggest reason, though, is that I absolutely detest
surprises, particularly surprises you know are coming. I want to know what is going to happen and to
prepare for it.
This weekend
my beloved Sophie girl had a neurological event of some sort, most likely a
seizure. Brett and I adopted Sophie the
month after we were married and she’s been my best girl ever since. Brett traveled full time for the first five
years we were married so it was always me and Sophie. Even after we had children, Sophie has been
my first baby. Her age has started
showing in the last year and a half with several health issues but I still
hoped she would be a fifteen to eighteen year companion.
Yesterday we
received a heartbreaking diagnosis of congestive heart failure at the after-hours
veterinary clinic. It wasn’t delivered
in a particularly gentle way and my heart was simply not ready to hear it.
After the
vet left the final time, the nurse came in, took one look at my face and said
she was so very sorry. I asked her if
she had any advice. She asked if I
believe in God and I replied, yes, I do believe in God. She suggested that I pray and that I look at
every day with Sophie as a gift because that’s what it is.
It’s a
sentiment most of us hear frequently.
Every day is a gift. Never take a
day for granted. It isn’t something I am
particularly good at doing but it isn’t because I’m ungrateful. It’s because I’m constantly looking to tomorrow
and the day after that. I’m trying to
carefully unwrap my future and rewrap it instead of enjoying and appreciating
what I have and where I am today.
Instead of feeling
profound joy that I walked out of the clinic with Sophie in tow yesterday, my
mind was thinking about 6 months from now when we may have to make a decision
to provide her a peaceful transition out of this life. I’m finding it is next to impossible to enjoy
my time with her when I’m constantly wondering when our last day will be or how
I will handle the day when she isn’t laying by my feet while I work.
There are
volumes of Scriptures about worry and anxiety.
I think it’s because people haven’t changed that much through the
centuries…God knows that so many people struggle with this very thing. I would love to hear your thoughts on living
in the present and leave you with some of my favorite Scriptures.
“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the
world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be
afraid.” ~John 14:27
“Cast your burden on the Lord,
And He shall sustain you;
He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” ~Psalm 55:22
And He shall sustain you;
He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” ~Psalm 55:22
Anxiety in the heart of man causes
depression,
But a good word makes it glad.” ~ Proverbs 12:25
But a good word makes it glad.” ~ Proverbs 12:25
“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for
the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil
thereof.” ~ Matthew 6:34
“Be anxious for nothing,
but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your
requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all
understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:6-7
“… casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for
you.” I Peter 5:7
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