Bless Their Hearts

From Bourbon & Boots

I read a funny post about regional differences on Kelly's Korner this morning and immediately thought of many times I've had to explain something or have realized that I wasn't in the south anymore.

One of the most interesting things I've had to explain is deer camp.  I'm originally from Arkansas and my dad's side of the family are all hunters, primarily deer.  Deer hunting is very common and popular here and it's often a family affair.  I should note deer camp also turned me into a vegetarian for 13 years but that's another story.

I was staffed on a project in Detroit (and the only southerner on my team) and was sharing a story about going to deer camp.  One of my colleagues from Toronto had a very strange look on her face.  "What do you do with the deer at deer camp?"  My turn for the strange look.  "Not sure I'm following your question."

She thought my family camped with deer and I guess assumed there was field frolicking and other deer games involved.  She was horrified when I explained what deer camp is.  Of course she had also never seen a cow "in real life" so we were coming from very different backgrounds.

A few other things that came to mind:

Buggy - I've now learned that most people call it a shopping cart but I grew up calling it a buggy.  I've heard other (but not all) southerners call it a buggy so I assume this is some sort of regional thing.

Chocolate gravy - It is a tragedy that more people are not familiar with chocolate gravy.  I guess this is also a southern thing but it is likely what angels serve for breakfast in Heaven.

Grill out - I don't say this but my husband does.  I have no idea if this is an Arizona thing but when we were first married he would say things like "We should grill out for dinner tonight."  Anyone from Arizona??  Does anyone else say this?  I think it's weird to not just say grill.  Theoretically you could grill IN your house but your insurance company would not appreciate that.

Y'all - Probably one of the best known regional differences.  I've worked in Philadelphia where they say something along the lines of you-uns (I have no idea if this is how it's spelled but that's what it sounds like).  I love y'all.  It makes me happy and I will never stop saying it.  No matter how many times people comment about it.

Wearing color - I interned for my congressman during college and all of the east coast people had a field day commenting on my clothes.  I had no idea prior to this that people up north essentially live life in varying shades of black/grey.  It was very depressing to me and I felt like Capitol Hill benefited from pops of color the southerners wore.  Of course I later moved to DC and have a ton of black and grey in my wardrobe now but that's primarily because I weigh 30 pounds more and it's slimming.

Sundae - My dad pronounces this as sun-duh as opposed to sun-day.  Pulling up to the Tastee Freeze drivethrough and I'd hear "Yes, ma'am, I'd like to order a chocolate sun-duh."  I haven't heard a lot of people say this but I've always loved that Dad says it this way.  Except when I was a teenager.  It was embarrassing then.

I'm sure I'll think of more but those were a few things that came to mind.  If you want to read a hilarious collection of southern/country sayings and stories, run on out to Barnes & Noble and buy this book:

What are some differences you've had to explain?

On Santa

artwork by the talented Mary Engelbreit

With Christmas season in full swing, there are lots of Santa photos, Elf on the Shelf shenanigans and other fun revelry  making the rounds.  I love this time of year.  It’s my favorite holiday and I’m always sad when December 26 rolls around that it’s over ‘til next year.

Know what I don’t love, though?  The bickering about traditions.  People warning about the psychological damage your child will have if you tell them Santa is real.  Other people harping that you’re no fun because your kids don’t believe Santa is real.

The truth is…your kids may or may not be alright but it won’t be because of Santa.  Or Elf on the Shelf.  Or any other number of fairly innocuous and meaningless distractions.

I’ve been asked if I believed in Santa as a child.  I don’t ever remember believing in Santa as an actual person who made lists, checked them twice and decided whether I was naughty or nice.  At the same time, I put out cookies, milk and a carrot every year for Santa and Rudolph.  I knew my Dad actually ate them even though I never saw my Dad eat or drink any of “Santa’s” treats.  Somehow, I just knew.

I wasn’t worried about whether Santa thought I was nice or not because I knew the biggest factor in what I got for Christmas was our finances. I was also much more worried about what my parents would do to me if I was naughty and not nice so Santa wasn't much of a threat.

When Brett and I had kids, I didn’t give the whole Santa situation much thought.  I thought we’d see Santa at the mall, take pictures, enjoy the CBS Christmas shows and call it a year.  Brett was adamant that we have Santa in the more traditional sense.

Fine.

So “Santa” brought gifts, we put out reindeer food (thanks, Christin!), left cookies and milk and went on about our business.  We’ve been, at best, a lukewarm Santa family with Dad doing most of the Santa talk while Mom politely nods and smiles.

Last year Madeleine asked me if I would tell her the truth if she asked me something.  Seeing this as an awesome opportunity to let her know that she can and should absolutely ask me anything and know she’ll get the truth, I quickly gave an emphatic YES.

She asked if the tooth fairy was real.  “Do you really want to know?”  Yep, she did.  So I told her the truth.  She asked if she could still have the money.  This kid knows what really matters to her.

About 15 minutes later, she said she didn’t really think Santa was real and would I be honest.  Again, I asked if she really wanted to know.  Yep.  So I told her the truth and talked about St. Nicholas and the fun of make believe and traditions.  Of course I followed it up with “Don’t say anything to any other kids! No need to ruin their fun.”

I was frankly relieved.  I’m not opposed to Santa but it never felt natural or all that fun to me.

As an avid reader, I think there are all sorts of beautiful and magical ideas and thoughts that are fun to think about even if you know they aren’t real.  Madeleine loves fairy books. Yet she knows they aren’t real.  The fact that she knows they aren’t real doesn’t seem to in any way diminish her enjoyment as she reads about their fairy adventures, boats made of leaves and pixie dust that helps them fly.

We still love watching Santa movies.  We’ll probably put out milk and cookies (in our house, Mom does the eating though) and will still creep outside in our jammies to spread reindeer food in the yard.  And we’ll love every minute of it.